The following is an excerpt from the magnificent book Loving the Stranger: Studies in Adolescence, Empathy and the Human Heart edited by Michael Luxford. This book comes out of the work of the Camphill Communities (curative communties where people of differing abilities live and work together – they arise out of Steiner’s work in the same way that Waldorf education is an expression of his work).

 

The poles of sympathy and antipathy which the writer refers to is a key point in understanding the inner life of adolescents and teens. The “all or nothing” outlook, the wild oscillations between black and white – these are some of the stresses that toss older children and teen agers. By working on one’s own heart forces, by addressing the healthy in-breath and out-breath of one’s own inner life and thus strengthening one’s own powers of empathy, a power which lives in this healthy rhythm, we can help teens reach balance in their own lives. Crucially, this is never through moralizing – moralizing instantly wipes out anything positive that equanimity might carry. Instead, we – parents and educators (and this book is addressed to teachers and doctors) – lead the way. We walk our talk and strive to find our own balance within the storms our children bring. And, since adolescents and certainly teens are old enough to become aware of their inner processes, we can teach them how to breath into their own stress and, eventually, into the Other, thus also learning empathy.

 

 

 

 

Gradually, however, as a furtherance of compassion and conscience, a new possibility has begun to emerge in human experience, which is that of empathy; a new power, a potential for holding still this eternal oscillation between sympathy and antipathy in the same way that we can hold our breath; and in this deed of holding still, a space – a gateway – is opened towards the other person and his experience. This ability relies on a strenuous and meditative activity which leads towards the private world of the other one – into his Sein (state of being) – and creates an experience of his experience.